


A Song of Karmotrine and Hookers

by WriterNightpen



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, VA-11 Hall-A (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Isekai, One Night Stands, Sex Work, Tall Tales, Walk Into A Bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterNightpen/pseuds/WriterNightpen
Summary: So, a king and his kingsguard entered a bar...
Relationships: Robert Baratheon/Dorothy Haze
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	A Song of Karmotrine and Hookers

**Author's Note:**

> All trademarked items in this fanfiction is owned by their respective copyright holders (A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin, Va-11 Hall-A by Sukeban Games, etc). The ones owned by me are past and future OCs, plot, and author's thoughts. This fanfiction is made solely for entertainment purposes and not intended for any material gain.

"HAH! Told you it was going to be here!" A burly man crowed as he entered the door into the quaint bar.

"I… I see, Your Grace," an older man said as he followed the burly man in.

"Mistress Jill! Ain't you a sight to sore eyes!" The burly man said.

"Bobby, good evening and welcome to VA-11 Hall-A," the girl behind the counter said. The older man seemed ready to interject, but he held his tongue with a visible effort. "Boss! Bobby B is here!"

"Send him in!" The voice of another woman can be heard from a side door.

"You wait here, Ser Barristan, have a drink on my expense," 'Bobby' said, before he sauntered to the boss' door. "Dana, good to see you! Now I'm here…"

The voices of Dana and Bobby trailed off as the door shut, leaving Barristan and Jill in relative silence.

"So, Mister Barristan, what can I get you?" Jill said as she cleaned a glass.

"Ah… well, I must confess that I'm… in a bit of a loss…" Barristan said.

"Bobby never brought friends before, so you're not the only one without an idea here," Jill replied, chuckling. "Did he ever told you what this place is?"

"To quote him, 'a place of strange lights, deep darkness, and strong drinks'," Barristan said. "And also, 'where the server is as sour as thickened currant juice,' I believe."

"I see. He's… not wrong," Jill said. "Anyway, you can order something non-intoxicating if you're not sure. We have several of the sort… Sugar Rush, Bleeding Jane, Frothy Water…"

"I think I'll try that… Bleeding Jeyne," Barristan said.

"One Bleeding Jane, coming up," Jill said as her bartending training kicked in. She measured and mixed and shook, before pouring the mixture into a glass. "There you go."

"Interesting…" Barristan commented before he sipped on his drink. "My word… this is quite delicious."

"Glad you liked it," Jill said as Barristan drank the mixture slowly. "I haven't seen many people in actual armor in the city, sir. Aren't they heavy?"

"I've been wearing this parade armor for the better part of two decades," Barristan said as he swirled what remained of his drink. "It wasn't as heavy as a war or tourney armor, and one eventually gets used to the weight. Won't stand more than a handful blows, but it's good until you can get to real armor."

"I see… so you're Bobby's bodyguard, then?" Jill asked.

"One of the seven Kingsguards, aye," Barristan said. "Ser Barristan Selmy of Harvest Hall, at your service."

"Well met, noble sir," Jill replied, giving a shallow bow.

"I take not many knights reside around here, good mistress Jill?" Barristan said with a playful note.

"No, not really… at least not the sort of knights who guarded kings," Jill said. "There's the White Knight Corps, but they're more policemen and security than cavalrymen."

"I see… queer land, but not unheard of," Barristan said. As he said that, the door to Dana's office opened and the two occupants walked out, with Dana handing over a blank cash card to Jill and Bobby joining Barristan at the counter.

"I see you had some, Ser Barristan! How was it?" Bobby said, his voice boisterous.

"Quite delicious Your Grace," Barristan replied. "I never tasted something like this before."

"Haha! Then let's get this night started, aye? Two big beers good mistress!" Bobby said.

"Two big beers, coming up," Jill said as she prepared the ingredients. "Your budget is two thousand five hundred dollars tonight, Bobby."

"Aye, after the debts I incurred last time," Bobby said. "I ain't some Lannister, but paying debts is a courtesy."

"More like an obligation, really," Jill replied as she put two large glasses of mixed 'beer' on the table. "Two large beers for the good sirs."

"Much appreciated," Barristan replied before he sipped on his drink. Bobby took a deep gulp, finishing half of his drink in a heartbeat.

"Pah! That's what what!" Bobby exclaimed as he wiped the beer froth from his mouth. "Nothing like the piss they serve at King's Landing! Ain't it so, Jill!"

"Better than canned beer, at least," Jill said while wiping a glass.

"To be fair, beers in King's Landing are often tainted with bad water or cut," Barristan said. "There are great beers in the Stormlands and Reach."

"Ah… Jewel of the Kingdom they said," Bobby groused, his glass laid empty before him. "More like a pisspot… girl, a Pi… pi-whatsitcalled Woman."

"One Piano Woman coming up," Jill replied easily. "Anything for you, sir Selmy?"

"I'll be fine, lass," Barristan said.

"Right," Jill said as she measured the ingredients of a glass of Piano Woman. "You know Sir Selmy, how does the beer from your hometown taste? Call it my... professional curiosity."

"Mm, I think it's… a tad more bitter than this. Maybe also a little darker," Barristan said, his eyes alight with faint nostalgia. "My youngest brother could tell you better. He was the odd one of the family... learned with the brewers, said he wanted to be one someday."

"He can make it big," Jill remarked as she shook the container. "A bottle of good handcrafted beer can fetch its maker a thousand dollars or more."

"How many gold dragons is that?" Barristan asked.

"Your Piano Woman, Your Grace," Jill said, putting a large fluted glass in front of Bobby. "And a gold dragon is… little bit over eight hundred dollars I think? That's between the boss and Bobby to work on usually."

"Thank you, good maiden," Bobby said.

"Nobody expects the Dorothinquisition!" A girl barged in and crowed.

"That's… new," Jill commented. "Welcome to Va-11 Hall-A, Dorothy. Sit tight and I'll be with you in a bit."

"Aye!" Dorothy said and took a seat a bit further down the counter.

"Jill, where can one find a good fuck around here?" Bobby asked, his expression cloudy. The Piano Woman glass laid empty before him.

"You… just looked at one of them walking in actually," Jill said, pointing at Dorothy with her thumb.

"Surely you jest, lass," Barristan objected. "She's a child! Surely only the most depraved would use her services!"

"Allow me to enlighten you, good sir!" Dorothy said, having somehow approached them in a handful of seconds. "I am a certified Lilim sex professional! I have all my credentials posted at sex dot gov dot gtc, including my proficiency certificates and latest health assessments!"

"How much," Bobby asked, his face sullen and red. 

"Starting from a thousand and five hundred dollars for standing fellatio! Settings, locations, and roleplay may alter the fare further!" Dorothy cheerfully announced.

"Guh… Jill, I have a need to exchange more coinage…" Bobby said, as he got up and stretched.

"Boss! More exchange!" Jill shouted.

"Send him in," Dana replied. "Might as well negotiate here too Dorothy!"

"Aye aye!" Dorothy said, cheerfully following.

"I'm… there's something wrong there somehow but…" Barristan said as the office door shut.

"She's a professional, good sir," Jill said. "And I can assure you that she is fully accredited. Now, anything I can get you?"

"Something… light? Whatever is in this beer, it kicks hard," Barristan said, sighing. "Also, any way I can see her... credentials?"

"I see… how about a non-intoxicating Blue Fairy, then?" Jill said as she took away the empty glasses. 

"I'll probably need to be a bit less sober than this," Barristan remarked, chuckling.

"Right," Jill said as she measured the ingredients of a Blue Fairy into the metal shaker. "Let me find you a slate for that credentials, too…"

"Thank you, lass," Barristan said as Jill disappeared under the counter for a brief while.

"Here's your Blue Fairy with two Karmotrine…" Jill said. "Also… search, Dorothy Haze… right, here it is… accreditations… okay."

"Ah… good," Barristan said after a gentle sip. Jill handed him a slate with Dorothy's accreditation displayed on it. "What am I looking at, mistress Jill?"

"Dorothy Haze's accreditation page," Jill said. "Or… maybe you're unfamiliar with the alphabet? I can read the brief to you."

"Oh, no, this is quite legible. Better than my handwriting, even," Barristan said. In the corner of her vision, Jill spied Bobby and Dorothy slipping into the restrooms. "It's just… some of these words I never heard about. What's a _species_? What even is this... _STD-null_?"

"A species is the designation of one's… kind, I think? Dana and I are designated as Humans, while Dorothy is a Lilim. That is to say, she is a… thinking machine. That's probably the best I can define her as," Jill explained.

"Fascinating…" Barristan said before a sip of his half-drunk liquor.

"STD-null means Dorothy won't infect anybody with sexually-transmitted diseases, because her body cannot harbor a primary infection. Anything her client got from her is either a secondary infection or something the client already had prior to them using her services," Jill resumed her explanation. 

"You are knowledgeable, mistress Jill," Barristan said as he finished his drink. A loud thud sounded from the restrooms.

"Damn, Bobby is a vigorous one," Jill remarked. "Also, Dorothy is proud of her occupation. She can... and will, talk about it the whole night, if she's off-duty."

"I… I see," Barristan said. There was another thud from the restroom, a little quieter. "Should I fear for mistress Dorothy's safety?"

"Boss had the restrooms monitored. BTC regulations," Jill said. "She would be the first to break down that door if Bobby tried something too untoward."

"Your Boss is still just a woman…" Barristan objected.

"She once was strapped for cash and took a shady job at a wrestling pit," Jill said, chuckling as she retrieved Barristan's glass. "She wrestled ten bears to submission and won somebody a new boat."

"My word… certainly not a woman I want to cross," Barristan said.

"She killed none of the bears and returned them all to the wilderness," Jill continued. "Some say they're still out there, and will come to her aid when called."

"Surely you jest," Barristan said after a hearty laugh.

"It's probably true. There's too many tales about Dana Zane out there," Jill said. "Anything more? You still have enough deposit for a couple of drinks."

"Maybe a bit later," Barristan said as the restroom door swung open.

"Your Grace," Barristan greeted as Bobby sat on the stool beside him.

"A Gut Punch, Jill. Big," Bobby ordered. He sounded morose.

"Coming right up. You, sir Selmy?" Jill said as her deft hands measured the ingredients.

"I think I had enough, mistress Jill," Barristan said.

"Right," Jill said as she poured the large Gut Punch into a glass and putting it before Bobby. "Your Gut Punch, Your Grace."

"None of that from you," Bobby said before he downed the drink in a gulp. "Bloody hell, that's what I need for entertaining the thought…"

"O… kay?" Jill said a little unsurely. 

"Ser Barristan, please punch me in the gut if I ever called on a… woman like mistress Haze ever again," Bobby grumbled. "That is a royal order."

"Most assuredly, Your Grace," Barristan said, nodding.

"Huh… beige light. Time to go home," Bobby said as he put two gold coins on the counter. "My best regards for you and mistress Haze, Jill."

"I… well, thank you Bobby," she said, cradling the two coins on her hand for a few moments. "Please come again."

"Thank you for the drinks, Mistress Jill," Barristan said. "Anytime you're in King's Landing, go find me and we'll go drinking. My treat."

"Anytime sir Selmy, and please come again," Jill said as both men disappeared into the darkness beyond the door.

"Well done Jill, take a smoke," Dana said as she emerged from her office. "I'll put up a siesta sign."

"How's Dorothy?" Jill said, stretching. "It sounded… vigorous."

"I'm okay! I'm okay…" Dorothy yelled from the restroom.

"She probably needs a minute. Did Bobby's cash card got emptied?" Dana said.

"Lemme see… well, it still have a little under a thousand," Jill replied.

"Take half as your tip," Dana said. "I'll transfer the other half to Dorothy."

"Thanks, boss," Jill said as she got up and went for her break, two gold coins in her pocket.

"Woo, a sword!" Dana crowed as Jill closed the back door.


End file.
